What are boundaries?

We know that countries and states have established boundaries to indicate their perimeters. Likewise people have boundaries. Sometimes people have what we call loose boundaries where they allow others to take advantage of them. Think of boundaries as imaginary lines we have established around ourselves. Imagine yourself as being in the center of a circle. The circle that you have drawn around you reflects your boundary, The purpose of your imaginary circle is to let others know what they can and can not do or say around you. As we grow we need to extend our boundaries because what was OK with us earlier in life may no longer be so. Boundaries help define who we are and what we will accept from others.

Benefits of strong boundaries

The benefits of having good boundaries are: 1. You will have respect for yourself. 2. You will attract people who respect themselves. 3. You will have more energy in which to grow. 4. You will have more courage to move forward with your life.

How to establish strong boundaries for yourself

As adults we have the ability to create boundaries for ourselves which reflect how we want to live our lives. It is up to each person to define limits when someone else says something or acts in a way that is not OK with us. Sally is an example of what I am talking about. Her mother did not permit her to have a mind of her own but rather she was expected to think as her mother wanted her to. This was a terrible burden for Sally who learned from that to give power to others and not validate herself. As an adult Sally realized that she does have the power within herself to define how she wants to be treated. Deliberately and conscientiously she has changed this pattern established in childhood by taking risks to speak up for herself. It has given her joy to bring forward her authentic self by establishing boundaries which protect her uniqueness as a person. Without our own clear boundaries we are at the mercy of others and our own sense of self is deeply affected.