The way you present yourself can set you apart and give you power and credibility or it can destroy your chances of ever getting through the right doors, not to mention obtaining great success in certain areas of your life. It is a silent language that speaks volumes. Your image and appearance can be a reliable and legitimate way to present yourself to the world, authentically, or as a persona.
Usually, when we refer to a person's appearance we naturally think of the way they look or the clothes or fashions they may be wearing at any given time or place. But there is more to it than that. Because fashion, body image and self-esteem are so interconnected, it is essential that you understand that clothing and fashion are often thought of as an extension of who you are as a human being. Now, I know that sounds silly but it is true. Many people look at the clothes and the fashions that you wear as "you" and as a central part of body image. Because of this, unconsciously, in the body-fashion-self-esteem interaction, you experience something inside of yourself called the Selfing Process. The Selfing Process is the communication of the self, which allows you to "put on." It includes five layers of getting ready that work harmoniously together. However, the necessary prerequisites are respecting and liking yourself.
The Selfing Process Series, Step 1-Verbal Communication Words are powerful! Knowing the right words to say and when to say them are priceless. But the tone in which you speak and convey your messages, along with your body language, communicates much more about you than words alone. Your tone can convey your mood level and what you are really thinking and feeling. In fact, verbal communication accounts for only seven percent of how others may perceive you. About thirty-eight percent of how you are perceived depends on the tone of your voice. The largest portion of communication, fifty-five percent, is visual or non-verbal, which falls under the next four steps of the selfing process.
Even though only seven percent of your message is transmitted through words, you had better believe that these words are extremely important. No matter how well groomed you are-if you cannot speak properly, you will not project image power. Instead, you will be perceived as lacking formal education, untrustworthy and somewhat incompetent.
Recently, as I worked with one of my clients I sensed that something was wrong, even though she had not conveyed this to me verbally. Her body language was incongruent from previous sessions. She assured me that everything was well with her. Not wanting to pry and to maintain professionalism, I took my cue from her and continued with the task at hand as she sat quietly, watching me. After about twenty minutes of us working together she began to tell me what was on her mind, which explained her somber mood.
Based on my client's low mood level, her lack of communication and body language, I knew that all was not well with her. Even though, initially, she wanted me to believe otherwise. It was not what she said; rather, it was her tone along with her body language that gave her away.
It's important to have the language, words and symbols to express what you feel, believe and want in life. Therefore, don't skip over words you read or hear in conversations that you're unfamiliar with. Instead, look them up in the dictionary or use an online dictionary right away-otherwise you'll miss an opportunity to open up a whole new realm of possibilities for yourself through word power. Even if you believe you've been mis-educated you can still learn to express yourself eloquently and effectively with practice. Don't be shamed by looking fabulous... that is, until you open your mouth and out spews mispronounced words that are used incorrectly-you'll run the risk of losing your credibility.
Ask yourself these questions:
- How is the quality of my voice?
- Can I turn the volume up and down as I please?
- Do I speak too rapidly, leaving others in the conversation to repeatedly ask me to repeat myself?
- Do I speak too slowly, leaving others wanting to complete my sentences for me?
Your Verbal Communication Goals:
- To perfect your verbal communication skills
- To come across as intelligent, confident and self-assured
- To be energetic and expressive verbally
- To use colorful words that express your feelings
- To paint pictures with your words
- To make sure your message is not distorted or ignored by using poor diction
Remember to practice by using a tape recorder or video to evaluate your voice.